


I Was Born Sick

by Another_Freak1258, orphan_account



Series: Incestious Codependency [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Big Brother Dean, Boners, Dean is twelve, Gen, John Finds Out, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Masturbation, Nudity, Pining, Popsicles, Pre-Relationship, Requited Unrequited Love, Sam is Nine, Weecest, summertime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 18:24:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4490052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Another_Freak1258/pseuds/Another_Freak1258, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a day of temptations, Dean works up the courage to tell his father about the thoughts he’s been having.</p>
<p>(This is heavily inspired by the song “Take Me to Church” by Hozier)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Was Born Sick

Dean was trying to be a good big brother. It’s one of the hottest summers he’s ever experienced, and it’s probably because they’re in Nevada. Dad’s out ‘on a hunt’ but Dean’s almost completely sure he’s gambling. He came back with more money than usual yesterday, right before he left, so the older brother naturally got some luxuries for them.

 

Around noon, a day after John left for whatever case they drove out here for, a twelve year old Dean goes out shopping. He returns with popsicles, because the motel room is going to give them heat stroke at this rate.

 

When Dean shuts the door behind him, Sam’s immediately at his side. “What did you get?” he squeaks, clearly hungry for lunch. He wipes his sweaty forehead on Dean’s shirt.

 

Smiling, Dean sets the bag on the kitchen table and pulls out the package of popsicles. “Yummy treats.”

 

Sam, being the good kid he is, tries to ignore the cold dessert and hugs Dean. “But what about lunch?”

 

“This is lunch,” Dean says, hugging Sam. He picks him up, setting him in a chair before opening up the box and giving him one.

 

“But Dad won’t want us to eat this... Didn’t you get any sandwiches, De?” Sam looks at the plastic-covered popsicle with a whine, starting to open it.

 

“No. Dad doesn’t have to know this is all we had,” Dean says, getting out his own popsicle and unwrapping it.

 

Sam doesn’t want to break the rules, but he knows that he needs to eat a few of these so he doesn’t starve to death. He opens up his cherry popsicle, licking it hesitantly before starting to suck on it lovingly.

 

Dean smirks at Sam, loving the way he looks as he sucks on the popsicle.

 

Moaning around the popsicle, Sam shoves it in his mouth as far as he can without discomfort. It’s so hot, and his throat hurts from dehydration. All of the water he drinks just turns into sweat.

 

Cock swelling, Dean immediately sits down to hide it and starts to eat his popsicle. “Sammy, stop it...”

 

Sam looks at Dean with confused eyes. He takes the popsicle out of his mouth, a spit string connecting itself to the dessert and Sam’s lips. Fuck, those cock-sucking lips. “What?” he asks hoarsely.

 

“Don’t shove that so far down in your throat,” Dean says. “You - You could choke yourself...”

 

Smiling at bit at Dean’s brotherly concern, the young boy giggles. “Okay, Dean.” He continues to lick the popsicle, tongue lapping and circling it. “These are so good...”

 

Nodding, Dean watches how Sam’s tongue moves around the popsicle, his cock getting harder and harder each second.

 

As the cold desserts starts to melt, Sam watches as his hands turn red. “Aw, now I’m getting all sticky!” he cries.

 

Chuckling, Dean sneakily slips a hand in his pants and starts pumping himself, but it’s too dry, so he spits on his hand and then starts again.

 

Sam, noticing everything that’s going on above the table, tilts his head. “Why’d you spit on yourself, Big Brother? That’s gross!” He continues eating his popsicle, hoping that Dean doesn’t spit on him or wipe his dirty palm in Sam’s hair.

 

“Uh... Don’t worry about it,” Dean says, continuing to pump his cock.

 

Making a disgusted face, Sam gets up and sits back down with his book. As he reads, the young boy moves his head up and down on the treat, his mouth following it instead of eating it normally.

 

Dean moans at the sight of this, but he quickly bites his lip to quiet himself. 

 

Sam either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. He just keeps thrusting the popsicle in and out of his mouth.

 

When he’s finally gone, Sam gets another one out, his face covered in red sticky stuff. “Mm! Thank you, De! These are really good!”

 

Dean’s apparently not listening, feeling himself nearing his climax. He grabs a tissue from his pocket, coming into it a minute later. Thankfully he always has some on him, in case Sam needs one. He pants, closing his eyes and throwing his head back.

 

Carefully setting down his treat on its wrapper, Sam starts over to the other end of the table with a innocently confused face. “What’s wrong, Dean? You look sick.”

 

Quickly taking his hand out of his pants, Dean opens his eyes and looks over at Sam. “Nothing... Nothing, Sammy, I’m fine.”

 

“I don’t want you to get sick...” Sam sniffles, wiping his forehead. “Then you can’t take care of me!” he whines.

 

Dean shakes his head, catching his breath and tossing the tissue in the trash. “I’m okay,” he promises.

 

Sam climbs on Dean’s lap, pausing when he feels his big brother’s hard cock. “De, what’s wrong with your pee-pee?” It, of course, hasn’t deflated yet. Dean just came, and it takes awhile for it to go down.

 

“Nothing, it’s just awake,” Dean says, hugging Sam.

 

Rubbing against Dean unintentionally, Sam tries to escape his arms. “We have to tell Dad that something is wrong with your pee-pee!”

 

Moaning, Dean shakes his head. “No! No! Don’t... Don’t tell Dad.”

 

“You’re making it touch me!” Sam tries to wiggle away, grinding his ass on Dean’s cock. “I have to tell Dad that you’re sick and bullying me!” Fuck, if Sam says anything about this Dad will beat the older brother. Sam will make it sound like he was raped without realizing it.

 

Shaking his head, Dean makes sure he has a good hold on Sam. He’s getting another boner, and he tries not to moan. “Sammy, stop moving around. I swear I’m fine. You can’t tell Dad. Understand? If you do, he’ll hurt me. Do you want me to get hurt?”

 

Sam shakes his head, eyes burning with tears. “N-No... But something is wrong with your pee-pee... It’s hard. Mine never does that, De!”

 

“It will when you’re older,” Dean states. “It’ll happen all the time.”

 

“But if you touch me with it, I might get infected!” Sam starts squirming away again. “You’re making it touch me!”

 

Dean freezes up, letting out a moan. “N - No... It’s not a disease, Sammy. You’ll be okay, I promise.”

 

Sam shakes his head, grasping Dean’s shoulder. “But - but you’re making sickly sounds!”

 

“I just...” God, he’s terrible. He shouldn’t be getting boners from his little brother. Dean sighs, letting the brunette go. “Don’t... Don’t tell Dad. Please.”

 

Sniffling, Sam rubs his eyes and looks at his big brother with a sad, scared expression. “Are you gonna be okay?”

 

Dean nods. “Yeah... But I’ll only be okay if you don’t tell Dad. Promise me.”

 

“Okay. I promise,” Sam sighs.

 

-

 

Around dinner time, Dean makes some mac-n-cheese with Lucky Charms mixed in as Sam watches cable. He starts hearing moans and gasps coming from the TV.

 

“Sammy, what are you watching?” Dean asks, walking away from the stove to go over to the couch by Sam.

 

Sam looks at Dean with a honestly confused face. “De... What - what is he doing to that poor lady?”

 

On the screen, a woman is getting pile-drived by a man, and she’s moaning like a two dollar whore. “Fuck! Yeah! Yeah, give it to me!”

 

“Uh...” Dean looks around for the remote, and when he finally finds it, he presses a button and Spongebob comes on. “Nothing.”

 

Sam frowns. “I wanna know what he was doing to her! They looked sick, too! And - and she was making those sounds you were, Dean!”

 

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” Dean says, setting the remote down.

 

Looking over at the stove, Sam rubs his rumbling tummy. Dean goes back to cooking.

 

After about ten minutes, Sam starts groaning about how he can’t take the heat anymore. Dean tries to ignore his little brother’s complaining.

 

Sam gives up on coping. He takes off all of his sticky clothes, tossing them to the floor. “De, it’s so hot...”

 

When Dean turns around with Sam’s dinner in his hands, his eyes widen and he drops the bowl. “S - Sam...”

 

Letting out a disappointed whine, Sam looks at the fallen food on the dirty motel floor. This has happened before, and the brunette knows that they’re too poor to afford any more food. He knows he’s going to have to eat that dirty stuff even though Dean dropped it.

 

“Sammy, put - put your clothes back on...” Dean instructs, his cock already starting to get hard.

 

Sam groans, shaking his head. “No! It’s too hot in here! I feel better like this.” Sam sighs, looking at the food. “De, five second rule... Hurry up.”

 

When the older Winchester snaps out of it, he quickly bends down and scoops the food into the bowl and brings it over to Sam.

 

Starting to eat the food with his hands - Dean didn’t give him a fork - the brunette sighs happily. “De... Do you love me?”

 

Sitting down, Dean nods immediately. “Of course I do, Sammy.”

 

Their dad said that Dean couldn’t do this anymore, but they’ve already broken one of his rules today. “Can you give me a bath after we eat, then? Like you used to?” he asks softly.

 

Smiling a bit, Dean nods. “Sure.”

 

Sam grins widely, holding the bowl out to Dean. “You need to eat too, Big Brother,” he says, scooping up some more and eating it.

 

“I’m not hungry,” Dean says, shaking his head. “Thanks, though.”

 

-

 

Once Sam’s done eating, he sets the bowl aside and climbs onto Dean. “Weee!” he giggles, still completely naked.

 

Smiling, Dean rolls his eyes and carries Sam to the bathroom. “You know,” he says, setting Sam down as his smile falls, “you’re gonna need to stop getting naked in front of me.” He starts messing with the water settings.

 

Not liking how sad Dean sounds, Sam goes to his side and whines. “Why? I know that you stopped but I don’t have to, De.” Is this pertaining to the ‘big boy’ talk their Dad gave him? Sam doesn’t want to grow up.

 

Sighing, Dean picks Sam up and sets him in the tub. “Because... Brothers aren’t supposed to do that in front of each other.”

 

Tugging at Dean’s shirt, Sam rolls his eyes. “But you’re not just my big brother! You’re my _Dean_!” he tries to explain. “You should take a bath with me! Like - like we did a few years ago!”

 

Dean shakes his head, biting his lip. “No, I can’t. Brothers aren’t supposed to do that, Sam. Not when we’re this old, anyway.”

 

Sam splashes the water around, throwing a fit. “I wanna take a bath with my big brother!”

 

Huffing, Dean sighs and takes his shirt off. He doesn’t want another tantrum from Sam. He slides off his pants, too, getting in the water.

 

Giggling, Sam grabs Dean’s cock by accident. “You have to take off your underwear, De! They’re getting all wet!”

 

Dean lets out a choked moan, sighing and sliding off his boxers. He sits down.

 

Sam cuddles close to his brother, starting to give him kisses all over his face. “I love you, Big Brother! Kissies!”

 

Dean smiles a bit, allowing this. Sam’s still young, so it’s okay. _He doesn’t understand yet_ , the older Winchester keeps telling himself.

 

Once Sam’s successfully covered Dean’s face with love, he pulls back and closes his eyes. “Gimme kissies, De!”

 

Humming, Dean peppers kisses all over Sam’s face, his lips going over his little brother’s once or twice.

 

Chest feeling funny, Sam giggles and pushes Dean away. He remembers when Dean gave him every once of love he had to give, and that included mouth kisses. Thinking that it’s back, Sam presses his lips to Dean’s.

 

Dean kisses back for a moment, but pulls away, coughing awkwardly and grabbing the shampoo. “Let’s wash our hair, yeah?”

 

Sam scoots away and starts playing in the water. “Rawr! I’m the Loch Ness Monster!” he exclaims, making a figure with his hand and having it drown a floating clump of hair that someone left behind. “Grrr!”

 

“Gross, Sammy,” Dean says, grabbing the hair and putting it in the trash. “You don’t know whose hair that is.” He starts massaging the shampoo into Sam’s head.

 

Giggling, Sam brushes against Dean and squirms around. He scoots back, bumping into Dean’s more privates parts. “De! Your pee-pee is getting hard again!” Sam gasps, moving forward and looking at his big brother’s hardening cock.

 

"Uh... Don’t - Don’t worry about that,” Dean says, trying to ignore it.

 

Looking at it with a frown, Sam’s eyes fall to his own penis. “Yours is bigger than mine!”

 

Dean laughs a bit before reaching over and grabbing a cup. “Yours will grow as you get older.” He starts pouring water over Sam's head, rinsing out the shampoo.

 

Sam closes his eyes, huffing. “Everything happens when I’m older! I don’t wanna grow up - I wanna stay like this and cuddle with you!”

 

“I’m sorry, baby boy,” Dean says with a frown, starting to rub shampoo into his own hair.

 

Just as Dean’s almost finished cleaning himself, Sam gets out of the bath. Though, he doesn’t step on Dean’s clothes, and the brunette lands perfectly on his hands and knees. Sam thankfully didn’t hurt himself, but he’s present his fucking ass and how is he so damn oblivious to the torture he’s inflicting?!

 

Dean's cock swells a great amount, but he ignores it like he always does. He’s so disgusting. Standing up; he drains the tub and steps out. He grabs a towel and starts drying Sam off.

 

Sam stretches and yawns as he’s dried off, clearly tired. “Let’s go to bed, De.”

 

When they’re both on the bed - not bothering to get under the covers, since it’s still scorching - Sam cuddles close to his big brother. He kisses him sweetly. “Good night, Dean.” It doesn’t matter that they’re already both sweaty; they sleep together like this every night.

 

After Sam’s fast asleep, Dean starts crying. He’s such a sick person, getting boners from his baby brother. He’s a pervert, and he shouldn’t even be around Sam. But he just can’t seem to get enough of him.

 

-

 

About a week later, they’re in another town, and it’s much cooler there, but still hot. Dean’s been considering talking to their dad about this for a while now, and he’s finally worked up the courage. Sam is fast asleep, but Dean stayed up to wait for their dad to get home. When the door opens, butterflies fill Dean's stomach and his palms get sweaty. “Hey, Dad...”

 

“Dean, you should be asleep.” John shuts the door, looking over at Sam with tired eyes. He halfheartedly smiles, opening the beer in his hand. John sits down at the table, looking through that book he always carries.

 

“Sorry, I just...” Dean takes a deep breath, standing in front of John. “I wanna talk to you.”

 

Gesturing for Dean to sit down, John grunts as he starts flipping through the pages. He doesn’t look like he’s paying attention, but the younger Winchester talks anyway.

 

Letting out a shaky breath, Dean sits down next to John. It takes a minute for him to actually get anything out. “Uh... Well, you know how... How brothers aren’t supposed to love each other? I mean, like, _love-love_? I... I think I... I love Sammy...”

 

John’s quiet for a moment before he rubs his face. “Dean, you know Dad’s work is important, right?” Oh, leave it to John fucking Winchester to not listen to his son.

 

“Uh... Yeah,” Dean says. “Were... Did you even hear me?”

 

Shaking his head, John looks directly at his oldest son. “No, I’m sorry. I had a long day, Dean. What is it?”

 

“I love Sammy... More than a brother should...”

 

John smiles a bit. “Considering that you saved his life before he could even speak, I can believe that.” He obviously doesn’t understand.

 

Dean huffs, frustrated. “No, I mean... I’ve been getting... I’ve been getting boners just from looking at... At his ass, and - and I love to cuddle him and kiss him and I wanna spend forever with him and protect him!”

 

Smile immediately replaced with a disgusted look, John stands up and grabs Dean. He takes him into the bathroom, locking the door. He smacks him. “You little faggot! That’s sick! Your job is to protect your little brother, not take advantage of him!”

 

Eyes wide, Dean freezes in fear. “I’m... I’m sorry... I didn’t... I didn’t mean to fall in love with him, Dad...”

 

Grabbing Dean’s arm, John squeezes it tightly. “You are not going to do anything that your sick little mind can come up with to your baby brother! Do you understand me? You stop feeling this way, Dean,” the oldest Winchester hisses, as to not wake Sammy.

 

“I’m sorry! I - I tried... I’ve been trying for a long time, and I can’t...” Tears burn in Dean’s eyes, and a few falls down his cheeks.

 

Slapping Dean as hard as he can, John sighs stressfully. “You’re going to act like a normal young boy. You’re going to like girls and _never_ touch your brother! I - I’ll start buying rooms with three beds.” Or he’ll take a couch, whatever he ends up doing.

 

Dean sobs, unable to hold himself up anymore. He collapses on the ground, covering his face. “Dad, I love him! Please, I - I can’t just stop loving him!”

 

John holds Dean up by his arm and whispers into his ear angrily, “What you feel for that poor boy isn’t love. You sick, fag, I swear if I hear anything about this again I will separate you two.”

 

Sobbing even harder at the thought of this, Dean’s whole body shakes. “No! Don’t!”

 

Smacking Dean again with his free hand, John practically growls. “Then you better find a way to put an end to your sick urges!” John lets go of Dean, leaving the bathroom and going back to his work with a disgusted face. He wonders what he did wrong.

 

Dean stays on the ground, sobbing.

 

Sam doesn’t get another kiss from Dean until three years later.


End file.
